It is common for mothers to want to be a part of the wedding plans for the wedding of their sons especially when they do not have any daughters to look forward to walking through the process with.
Mothers who have sons only feel they miss out on planning the big day so they can get a bit over-bearing with their soon to be daughter in law during the wedding preparations.
How to handle your over-bearing mother-in-law? Well there are several ways. First you need to determine if your fiancé’s family is going to pay for the rehearsal dinner and if they are going to contribute anything toward the wedding.
It only makes sense that if they contribute a portion to the wedding or reception that a few of their wishes are granted. For example, if your mother in law wants there to be a four-string quartet during dinner and you never even thought about it, well if she is willing to pay for it you may want to let her win this battle.
If your soon to be in-laws want an open bar and you always thought you would have a cash bar but they are willing to pay for the open bar its probably best to consider allowing an open bar.
Now, if your mother-in-law to be wants tacky centerpieces on the tables you can stand your ground, choose your battle, and say no. If your mother in law is willing to pay for the marching band of your husband’s alma mater to play at the reception and that is something you would never consider, stand your ground with that issue as well.
Communication is the most important aspect of planning your wedding with an over-bearing mother-in-law to be. There will be confrontations and you have to speak to your mother-in-law about your feelings and your expectations.
If you and your fiancé have a completely different idea of the rehearsal dinner than his parents do even thought they are paying for it there are still appropriate ways to handle it and have the rehearsal dinner that you want.
Your fiancé technically should be handling his mother and not allowing her to get so involved but oftentimes she will contact you directly and this is one relationship you want to start off on the right foot.